Weddings: 4 psychological dilemmas all couples-to-be go through

Marriage can both be frivolous and daunting, depending who is getting married and how their circumstances are. The perceived effect of marriage is also motivated by how the marriage takes place.

There are weddings which take place in the silence of court houses. Some chose to marry in their religious centers like mosques, community centers, churches and the likes. Whilst, many book lawns and halls, and make sure the event is as festive, lavish and memorable as it can be.

Pakistan is a society which loves to celebrate weddings, and by love, I mean it’s considered an obsession. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it is important to understand how the to-be couples feel about their time of getting married. What emotions and psychological issues do these couples feel?

On the face, weddings seem to be all about the salon, the dress, the shirwani, mayon, ladoo, haldi, reconciling with family and uncles/aunties being cheeky and joyous. But what goes in the minds of those getting married? Here are a few things I found out after coming across a few newly-married couples.

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE IN PLACE (THE PERFECTION BUG)

During weddings, many bride and grooms go on a spree of making sure everything is done to perfection. Mostly with women, that’s from the flower arrangement to the color scheme of shaadi dresses. For guys, it’s mostly among the lines of finances adding up to make sure everything is paid for and is done in time. There is stress, aggression, tears and an interesting exchange of words.

IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT

It becomes immensely important for the groom/bride to gel well with their spouse-to-be and when it comes to weddings, in Pakistan, the wedding is between family and not just individuals. Every groom/bride wants that their family is liked by those of their spouse, and though everyone has met the parents and probably the grandparents, it’s time to introduce the uncles and the aunts – that khala-zaat-cousin Nadeem and his annoying prying family.

WILL IT WORK OUT?

Following up with our commitments is not always an easy thing to do. Commitment to uphold relationships, values and family names can be a daunting task all in its own. I mean, one really cannot control the thanklessness of a child, the loudness of dad/mum or the perkiness of the phuppos all at the same time. What can be done is to adjust and make the best of it all.

When commitments go long term, these are bound to take a toll on one’s mind.